Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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