video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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