how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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