My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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