Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
