Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You're a waste of cheezeits
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
