Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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