Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
