Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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