Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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