Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
