OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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