ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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