I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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