went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
