I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.