Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
