so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.