Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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(636): View more from Missouri

we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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(813): View more from Florida

She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(217): View more from Illinois

do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?

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(917): View more from New York City

Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again

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