Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine