at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable