go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
