Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
