I heard we made out
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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