somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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