I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
