he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
