we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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