I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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