if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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