You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
