ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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