NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You can't just leave with hair like that
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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