True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize