Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is wine microwaveable?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
