I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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