got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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