As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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