sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
