Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
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Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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