I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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