Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
