i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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