do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize