so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
