I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
