I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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