halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
