hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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