I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
