it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
