the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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