Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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