just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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