Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
