I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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