I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
