I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
