I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
