Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
