If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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