Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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