So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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