when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
