Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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