Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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