He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
