you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
