The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
