no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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