yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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